Modesty

Hayaa

Now, what does Hayaa translate to and mean? Shyness, bashfulness, self-respect and most importantly, modesty.

All of these characteristics form part of what an ideal Muslim should aspire to be. Modesty is an innate characteristic of the religion of Islam. Not only should we aspire to be modest, act modest and dress modestly, but we should also strive to imitate the Sahabah RA.

But, your thoughts should also be modest. Because thoughts become actions. Anyway, modesty.

Your Hayaa,  it is a vital thing in Islam. Modesty prevents all sorts of things from happening to you. I know I once read something terrible and horrifying about a Muslim girl’s rape. The fault is very, very slightly hers. She walked home alone after dark, but sick and disgusting minded men who did not have one ounce of decency and self respect, raped her.

However, the fact that she was modestly dressed did not matter. They stole her innocence and degraded her and ate away her happiness. How could such sick minded, disgusting low lives do that? They had shamed her and made her feel suicidal. But how could they have lost their humanity to such a degree that they lost all sense of self control and respect?

Has humanity come to such a degree that they cannot tell the difference between animal and human? Have we really lost all sense of modesty? Of shyness and bashfulness?

Are we that disconnected from our Lord?

Modesty is an ingrained characteristic that should help us stay in touch with our human nature. Shying away from evil and anything that would cause displeasure to our Lord. But it goes more than that.

I know so many people who wear niqaab, the face veil, yet they have absolutely no modesty. What use is wearing the niqaab if you are yelling across the table? Is your voice not the part of your body which you should take caution in? Because a woman’s voice can lead to making men aroused and what not. It could lead to all kinds of unwanted trouble. So, when you wear niqaab, your voice should not be raised and heard by everyone in the room.

Furthermore, your modesty is quite an attractive trait. It shows that you value yourself and you do not appreciate being objectified in a manner to be lusted on and by  men. It shows that you are patient enough to wait for someone to appreciate your true worth, not just any fool who thinks that a girl who does not want to be modest is better. Easy to come, is easy to go.

But truly. Just think for a second. If you dress as you were instructed by Allah –where your body shape is not shown nor revealed, where your hair is covered and you have very little to no make up on. This would mean that you are taking every precaution so as not to incite and cause men to lust after you. And that precaution could mean the difference between gaining entry into heaven and hell.

So, the next time you want to do something or dress up, think about whether or not it is modest. Because it is better to be safe rather than sorry.

Now is the time

Now is the time

So many of us are single and crying for a spouse, a partner, someone to complete half our Deen. But the real question is whether or not, we have completed the other half ourselves? Why are we so desperate to have someone come in and tell us our worth? We are so much more than other people’s words, or our weight, or the amount of likes we get on social media.

That is getting off topic, but my point is that your self-worth is not dependent on anyone else’s love. But, the real message for this blog post is that Ramadaan is the time for us to supplicate and beg Allah to improve ourselves, to make us better people and better humans. If we truly want to marry someone else, we have to make sure that we are able to be the type of person we would want to marry.

You want someone who is religious? But, are you religious?

You want someone who prays? But, do you pray?

You want someone who is able to help you become a better person, but what if you need to be the one who has to help your spouse? Are you able to step up to be that person? If not, start now. The month is not yet over, pray it all out.

Ask Allah for the guidance and strength to make you a better person. To make you the person you need to be for your spouse.  But enough about you.

Make dua for your spouse. That he/ she is the person you need, not always want. Because sometimes what you need is not necessarily what you want. That is because Allah gives you what is best for you, in that situation and to help you in the future. The test that you are going through today is to help you for the things you have prayed for.

Pray for a spouse that is first and foremost Allah fearing. For if they are Allah fearing they will not treat you badly. Allah fearing also means that even if they lose interest in you, they will not treat you badly.

Pray for a spouse that will be a light in your life.

Pray for a spouse that will advise you in all times.

Pray for a spouse that is your pillar of strength in times of need.

You need to pray for a spouse that will remain faithful to you.

You need to pray for someone that will help improve you, while you also help to improve them.

You need to focus on yourself, but also to pray for the exact type of guy you want.

Life is no fairytale. So praying for someone who is driving Ferrari’s and Porche’s and Land Rovers etc, and someone who has millions in their bank accounts, a mansion and some exotic holiday house, and to still have a stellar personality, is highly unrealistic. Not to mention that people will always ask and pray for someone who is good looking.

That in itself is one of the shallowest things you could find. Looks mean nothing other than attraction. Looks only pull you towards a person. But I can take an oath and say that nothing interests me more than a person’s brains and personality, despite their outward looks.

But if you do happen to find someone who is such a prince / princess, Alhamdulillah. I am very happy for you, but please do remember that this world, this Dunya is not for perfection, that is what Jannah is for. So, with that in mind, remember that perfection is an illusion and illusions shatter.