A LETTER TO MY MOTHER
My dear mother
For nine long and painful months you carried me, with silent complains. No one else can understand your pain except another mother. But then again, not everyone goes through the same pain, no matter how similar the situation.
Today and always, I want to thank you. I would never be the person I am without you. It is your decisions and choices that made me the person I am today. It was your help and encouragement that fed my dead willpower. It was your determination and strength that egged me on. It was your cheering at the sidelines that made me who I am today.
I know that the past is behind us and that even though it knocks and taps our shoulders that it is not a reason to look back, but if we don’t acknowledge it, we may never move forward.
In the past I have said things. Nasty things, painful things and the occasional sweet things. I apologize for all the hurt I have caused you. Knowing and unknowingly. Thinking back now and reflecting on it, makes me realize that often I have said things that I don’t mean, not to hurt you, but because I am in pain.
Pain makes me a beast and makes me unleash the nasty within and that’s when I hurt you. I am sorry mummy, for being so mean to you. For hurting you when so many others do it as well. I am sorry for adding to your emotional pain when you have so many other things too. I am sorry that each time I say something I don’t mean, your heart breaks a little more. And yet, in spite of all of this that I do, you still love me.
It just shows that the only person we love, is the one we hurt all the time, the one we share secrets with and the one we complain to.
So today, I want to say I am sorry for the things I said when I was smaller. They were mean and nasty. This is all the words I want to say and can’t say.
And now I see why paradise lies under your feet.
I am sorry and I love you.
Love you always
Your daughter ❤
Heart Of Lights 