Wedding bashers

Wedding bashers

In my class, we have a very controversial girl. She barely keeps her opinions to herself and almost half the class gets annoyed with her, but because we are all supposedly well behaved, and well matured adults, we try as much as we can to ignore her existence.

However, unlike me, there are some kind and generous souls who talk to her and indulge her in conversations. I do regret that I am not acting like the typical Muslim, who should be tolerant and accepting of our differences, although, I am sticking to the advice of our Prophet Muhammad SAW, and being quiet when I have nothing nice to say. So, in one way I do not feel bad. Anyway, one of the girls in the class had a conversation with her and they got into a heated argument regarding marriage.

Now, before we get into their conversation –here’s my point of view on marriage. It is something sacred and it should be based on respect more than love. The more you respect someone, the more you will love them, however, there should be some chemistry between the two people who want to get married. Based on …observations, the time frame of knowing someone does not determine your relationship. Even after knowing someone for ten years, it will still not be enough for your marriage because you may be incompatible and that ‘dating’ time gave room to play the field.

Marriage should be about complete commitment and contentment.

But, now we get into their view. So, the annoying girl, Y, has the view that marriage is a ball and chain type of thing. It is a lot more than a piece of paper. She believes that you need an adequate time frame to know someone before marrying them, but ultimately, she believes that marriage must be done. She doesn’t believe in life partners. She thinks that if you want to stay together: put a ring on it.

However, the other girl, Z, said that marriage should not be rushed. She has been dating her boyfriend for a couple of years and yet she feels like she doesn’t know him well enough. Pause –like what the heck???

Excuse me??? How can you date that long and not put in the effort to know the person inside and out? (NB! They are not Muslim girls!) To me, that basically means that there was no effort in the relationship and that their relationship is just a namesake. Excuse me, but I will not date that long and not be married.

But you see, this is the problem with our modernised girls. I do not say that there is anything wrong with being modern –but it has made us become far too independent on ourselves that we do not know how to keep and maintain relationships. This is our problem, so instead of fixing and solving out inner insecurities, we turn to bash the institution of marriage.